4 comments


  • DC

    Thank you! I left my narc over 20 years ago. Day before yesterday he disappeared and left suicide notes for his wife and one of his 2 daughters. They are frantic, of course. I googled narcissists just to remind myself of the reasons I left him and found this very good site. everything you said is true-I stayed 10 years with my narc. I was afraid that I couldn’t make it financially without him. But I wanted to be free, had an opportunity to take a job in another state and jumped. I had peace for the first time in 10 years! I cut off all communication, refused to take his calls because I knew leaving was like giving up a drug. I needed space to get strong enough. Time, counseling, hard work all made the difference. My ex sister in law called me to let me know about the suicide threat and search going on for my ex narc. I am thanking God with my whole heart that it’s not me out there looking for that selfish, manipulative, abusive man. My prayers are with his family and I am thanking myself for being courageous enough to leave him 22 years ago.

    September 10, 2015
    • Lucy Rising

      DC, I’m so glad you escaped that terrible trap! You know from experience how hard it is to do, but how worth it. And what a supreme lesson it is to compare your life with what his wife and children have dealt with over the past two decades. I feel terrible for them. Whether he was serious about the suicide or has just created a ruse here, either way he has concocted a situation that will cause his family terrible pain. My narc ex-husband chose to kill himself right before Thanksgiving, and I’ve always wondered if that was a deliberate decision, that it gave him a sick joy to ruin the holiday for his partner, friends and family. Most people would call me black-hearted for proposing that idea, but you and I both know how narcissists think and the very real possibility that it’s true. I wish there were a way these three people could just be liberated of this terrible situation, but I’m sure they are kindhearted and sensitive people as narc victims so often are, and will suffer greatly because of it. I do thank you though for sharing this as I hope it serves as a cautionary tale to others. There is so much to be gained by leaving a narcissist, and so much to be lost if you choose to stay with one!

      September 10, 2015
  • Dore

    Just a follow up…his body was found.

    I too hope this serves as a cautionary tale to others. I hope perhaps there will be others who will gather the courage to believe for a better life and get out.
    Gather up your courage, have some faith in God’s better plan. take your kids, dog, whatever and just go and don’t look back. You can do it.

    March 16, 2016
    • Lucy Rising

      Thanks for posting the end of your story…and yes, I really share in your hope that others will learn from what happened to us and escape their abuse and find peaceful lives. Sometimes it’s very hard, but we all have the option and no price is too high.

      March 16, 2016

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