6 comments


  • I completely agree, do it for the kids. Since the Narcissist walked out of my life and I much more emotionally available to my children. This is important because they need me know more than ever. Since my wife left me she seems to be getting angrier and gas-lighting the children more than ever before. In fact I did not notice it when I was with her. The kids say it was always there, I was just there to protect them before. I would throw myself in the line of fire.
    Love yourself and get away. I agree. Take it from an abused husband. It changed my life for the greater good. It made me a better father. It just made me better.

    August 25, 2018
    • Lucy Rising

      Sam, I hear you on all counts. It’s funny how often the kids we were protecting saw through the situation all along. I’m so glad that you got out of that situation and can be there for your kids and vice versa as survivors of narc abuse. Thank you for sharing your story, and best wishes for a much better future!

      August 25, 2018
  • Britt

    I agree that it is so much better to leave, but I made mine leave and told him I would take care of raising our son. He then fought me for 50/50 custody, and we now have that. It is terrible, is breaking my heart, and I constantly worry that he will poison my son to turn against me. I did have a brief affair at the end of our relationship, after years of being neglected in favor of porn, and possible affairs on his part. It was a stupid mistake, and is now his ammo to paint me as a horrible person, even though I supported him throughout our marriage, and dealt with intense neglect and emotional/mental/one incident of physical abuse from him (he pushed me down and put his hands around my neck). After all that, I still question if I am really the narc, because of my affair, and because he turned everything around on me so often. I am so worried that my son will choose to be with him only once he finds out about my affair. I hope to reveal that truth to him on my own, and tell him the entire story one day, to avoid him getting a one-sided story from his dad. At least I am able to tell the entire truth, including my part. His dad will never own his MANY issues.

    August 16, 2019
    • Lucy Rising

      Britt, I’m so sorry to hear of your horrible situation. It does sound heartbreaking. I hope you aren’t blaming yourself for the affair because everyone needs love and you were not in any kind of real marriage at the time. I know very well from personal experience the loneliness of being in a marriage such as yours and it’s only human and natural that you might respond in that way as you just tried to survive. There is no possible way you are the narc. A narc wouldn’t feel a bit of regret or remorse about this nor take responsibility as you have. So please take that off your plate of worries right now. I’m not sure how old your son is but I agree that as soon as he’s old enough to understand you should tell him the entire story. It’s in his own best interests to know the facts; this is not a matter of your “getting your way” or “seeming like the good guy,” it’s a case of the boy needing to fully understand his parents’ relationship with each other and with him so he can make informed decisions. Again, I’m so sorry, and I hope with all my might that this will be resolved in a way that benefits both you and your son.

      August 17, 2019
    • Britt

      Thank you, Lucy. I cannot tell you how much your site has helped me. Like many survivors of narc abuse, I have spent countless hours researching this issue for the past decade, just to see if I was not overreacting and there was really something wrong. Your site was one of the first to address the confusion, self-blame, and guilt in the aftermath of these relationships. Thank you for your response, and many blessings to you!

      August 19, 2019
      • Lucy Rising

        You are so welcome! It makes my day to know the site was able to help you. Many blessings to you too!

        August 19, 2019

Leave a comment


Name*

Email(will not be published)*

Website

Your comment*

Submit Comment

Copyright © Lucy Rising